Menswork

_{What’s it like to break down in a circle of men? What’s it like to get enraged in a circle of men? Is your masculinity sacred? Do you belong in the tribe of men? Are you safe in the company of men? Safe in yourself, safe for them?}

_{What about when triggers come up? Do you feel at ease without roles, titles and accolades to refer to?}

Menswork is when men formally get together in a confidential space and relate to one another. The intention is often to be emotionally honest and vulnerable, learn more about our triggers and projections, and embody healthy masculine traits. This can include assertiveness that can have a challenging energy, and accountability to uphold our integrity as individuals. 

Popular culture references to menswork include the film “The Work” (2017) showing it functioning in a prison setting. The seminal books on the topic are “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover” by Moore and Gillette, and “Iron John: A Book About Men” by Robert Bly.

I first heard of menswork while I was in the musky farm-house home of my friend Eric Maddern, proprietor of the Cae Mabon Retreat Centre.

The faint Green Man mural on the outside wall indicated the treasures within. I lived there for a month of off-grid living and was welcomed in to browse the dusty bookshelves. It was there I found the aforementioned books. I also felt the presence of Eric sustaining a grounded and musky masculinity. He confided in me that menswork had been one part of his life journey. One day while I sat outside on the patio I was approached and invited to join a mens circle that evening. The group of fathers, uncles and sons wanted an outside man between their ages to be present. It was a delightfully atmospheric and emotionally deep process which started and completed by crossing the Fachwen stream in darkness. I stepped by the light of candles and entered a scorchingly humid and eerie sweatlodge. The contents of the process, as with all circles, is sacred and confidential for all the men and boys present.

Years passed with this experience as a memory in the background until I became closer friends to JJ Howell who I often met on Druidic retreats. I had been impressed with his loving and vulnerable openness combined with a spiritual depth and skilful, humble ceremonial leadership. After many separate meetings I directly asked him what the most significant influences had been in his life. He too mentioned menswork and told me for the first time about the Mankind Project (MKP).

A time came in my life where I felt the call to explore who I was more intensely. I was ready to take a risk, so with equal parts apprehension and excitement I enrolled to do the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA), which is a transformational weekend course and the first step in involvement with MKP. I endorse this experience whole-heartedly and mark it as a moment of change in my life for the better. The contents of the weekend are confidential and I urge any man considering it to go in blind. I had a friend who had scoured the web for any spoilers and he confided in me that his experience was spoiled accordingly. Nervousness is part of the anticipation…

Since that weekend I have attended weekly in-person mens-groups in the London, Hammersmith area. I’ve stood on stalls promoting the Mankind Project on International Mens Day and I have been a volunteer member of staff on the NWTA weekends. Most importantly of all, I have “done the work” of relating vulnerably and bravely week-in week-out at my mens circle, where to this day many of my closest friends are to be found.

I credit my involvement in menswork with transforming for the better my relationship to men. So too to the masculine aspects of myself including my emotional intuition, assertive confidence and capacity to be vulnerable. Also to my father; and I have seen it be an immeasurable benefit for men who grew up without or with complicated relationships to their father. Menswork was a pillar that jointly supported me and taught me to support myself. I credit that the foundations it gave me instilled in me the courage to solo-backpack for two years. It continues to support me as I stretch into my latest challenges and opportunities.

There are many mens groups and organisations. I have heard glowing reports of Journeyman for teenage boys, and for those involved in the criminal justice system, A Band Of Brothers who’ve demonstrated incredible positive outcomes after release. For the last two years I have attended the Menfest which is festival for men in the UK; it is a good entry into menswork as no prior menswork experience is necessary. After embedding my practice I attended a powerful course called Nobleman for men to explore their healing around the feminine. It came highly rated from many men; prior menswork is not a pre-requisite.

I hope you have been inspired and intrigued by this account of my positive experience with menswork. If you are a man reading this then there may come a time in your life when this opportunity feels relevant to you; the Mankind Project is there. I also attend the Menspedition in my beloved Cae Mabon. If you are a woman reading this then there are also well established female equivalents; Women in Power, Women Within, and also Celebration Of Woman – The Goddess by Celebration of Being UK. For any and all of us considering stepping out on the transformational path I would say to you: trust your gut and treat your mental activity of thoughts with gentle compassion. You will feel when the time is right.

With thanks to all my teachers and friends who have made this journey possible. To those who have inspired me by their example in courage and vulnerability. To all who have given their time and energy to these causes. Thank you on behalf of all living beings and the earth we walk upon. Great work!